CARA A CARA (FACE-TO-FACE)

The ever increasing use of social networking and electronic devices continues to raise concerns. These concerns are not so much about how much we are communicating with each other, but how we are communicating with each other, and how our chosen forms of communication may be reducing the quality of our relationships.

It has been for a while now that this concern exists, and many people express the concern of and about social changes that undermines society. "Relationships are already being weakened by the decline in cara a cara meetings and conversations over the phone", Vincent Nichols, archbishop of Westminster, once said, and expressed his worry "that an excessive use or an almost exclusive use of text and e-mails means that as a society we are losing some of the ability to build interpersonal communication that is necessary for living together and building a community. We are losing social skills, human interaction skills, how to read a person's mood, to read their body language, how to be patient until the moment is right to make or press a point. Too much use of electronic information dehumanizes what is a very, very important part of community life and living together". Nichols, goes even further, and warns that networking can lead children to commit suicide". (August 1, 2009)

The archbishop's comments led to a fiery response from the media, which, in turn, generated various online comments that descended into attacks on religion itself.

One has to ask himself if there was any merit to what the archbishop was suggesting. Surely the debate over the merits of social networking, texting, tweeting and the like could go on and on, with value arguments on both sides. The fundamental question is: Is it helping us, or is it hurting us as communicators, as individuals, and as members of the human community?

Surely, the impact can be positive as well as negative.

One thing I am sure of, and that is to write onscreen is definitely not the same when said aloud to one's face. I was watching a video the other day, which had a visceral public reaction, where at the end, the video stated: 'We wouldn't say it in their faces. So let's not type it".

In other words, cara a cara makes a difference in how we communicate, how we interact with each other, not as 'robots', but as living , breathing human beings.

It is very important for families living far apart to use certain media platforms as free means to see each other and talk. They are valuable links that keep us as close as possible under the different circumstances. My son Tiago, my wife Fernanda's family overseas are live examples of this. In poor countries, texting is an essential form of communication with those who rely on the relatively inexpensive tool because of their limited means.

On the other hand, I am constantly being reminded that technology has inadvertently created certain habits that may not be helping us.

The other day, I went out to lunch in one of my favourite restaurants with George, my son-in-law, my daughter Tanya and my grand-kids, Rafael and Giorgia. I could not help and notice two tables apart, a family of both parents and two of their teenage kids on their cell phones. Through ordering their meals, waiting for their food to be brought to the table, and while eating their food they didn't stop texting, or scrolling on their mobile devices. They finished their meal and not a word of communication between them.

Recent studies have shown that even though young people, and I am sure the older ones as well, have more means than ever before to keep in touch with each other, they are feeling greater loneliness. Is that happening to us?

Could too much online or texting interaction and not enough cara a cara interaction have something to do with this? Again the debate could go on and on, because there are a number of factors that ultimately contribute to the problem.

Trying to get deeper into the problem, I cannot but help to come to terms that social media have certain pros and cons in certain areas of our society which I identified as follows:

1. Community engagement.

Through crowd sourcing and crowd funding, our society appeal through the net for support for common causes.

The pros is that regardless of race or nationality, the public can donate to help pay for medical expenses, for example, of a terminally ill child in far away countries such as the Philippines, Vietnam, etc.

The cons is that there are agencies that use online platforms to the public to report such cases and who are in need of support. However, overwhelming responses may also result in the agency having to spend extra time and effort to identify duplicate cases from new ones.

2. Crime and law enforcement.

Certainly one has to think before something is posted or uploaded, as your posts can be used as evidence.

The pros is that information shared online is increasingly being used as evidence in court proceedings. These include videos, photographs and textual postings.

The cons is that there are also a number of cybercrime such as cyber bullying and extortion. Life situations and frank postings such as "I will have a few days of vacation", or "I will be back tomorrow", provide clues for potential burglars.

3. Entertainment.

Surely and probably the strongest point, for the fact that you can be entertained 24/7 so long as you have a digital smart device.

The pros is exactly that you may be entertained in the comfort of your home, or while 'on the go' in public transportation or being transported by any other means. In fact, wherever you have the chance in anywhere outdoors and indoors.

The cons is that parental control and guidance are needed for age appropriate resources. There is online gaming, porn sites, illegal downloading of songs, movies, etc. Certain, some of these, may lead to addiction, with dire consequences such as extortion and loss of wealth.

4. Education.

There are actually sites that promote free education for all.

The pros is the online resources, such as activity sheets, videos, quizzes, textual and graphical notes and PowerPoint presentations that can actual help educate home -based learners and provide continuous education in crisis situations which require schools to be closed.

The cons, however, there may be individuals who do not use information in an ethically or morally or in a responsible manner. Many cases of plagiarism are being highlighted in the news from time to time. So many times, this act of plagiarism is equivalent to 'stealing the work of others' for the simple reason that the author, creator or inventor is not acknowledged.

5. Marketing and business.

It is a fact that the Internet facilitates global marketing and business transactions.

The pros is that through online channels, and through many different platforms, you may sell and buy products and services at a cheaper cost. You may also look for more job opportunities.

The cons is that in reality, there is always the possibility of people falling prey to online scams such as dating, job offers, etc. Paid advertisements are now more common, where social media influenceres are hired to market and sell products and services.

6. News updates and freedom of expression.

The trending of many different facets of the 'news' include online discussions and presentations of the different spectrum 'views' on so many different topics that are 'current and hot'.

The pros is that journalists, investigators and researchers may use the online sites to get 'tip-offs' on news and discussions on important events that affect the security of not only an individual, a home, but of a country too.

The cons is that are people who may abuse online platforms to re-post many articles, or launch personal attacks that may lead to unfair public humiliation. In addition, many of these articles or their candid comments may not be taken positively and may have dire consequences.

7. Public relations.

It is a fact that the Internet is fast becoming a powerful tool to connect and 'stay in touch' with the public on a massive scale.

The pros is that it is the fastest, the quickest and the easiest way to stay connected on a cheap and massive scale via online dissemination. Artists, politicians, etc, can update their fans, their followers, their customers, on their projects and personal news.

The cons is that in order to stay connected on a 24/7 basis may result in a lack of privacy, loss of sense of time and deprivation of sleep and rest.

Ok, so much for that. As in most of my posts, or articles, I like to look at the subject of discussion not only from my own perspective but as well as from a Biblical perspective. So, in that respect, let me comeback to the cara a cara and see what the Bible says. Only Jesus Christ has seen God cara a cara (John 1:18). God communicated it through various people usually prophets who were told to give specific messages. The Biblical leaders, Moses, Abraham, had the privilege of talking cara a cara with the pre-incarnate Word, the Logos, who became Jesus Christ. The apostle Paul longed to see the Father cara a cara (2 Corinthians 5:8). The ancient Isaiah foretold how the descendants of Israel will interact with divine teachers cara a cara (Isaiah 30:20). What I found more interesting and very exciting is what the last Book of the bible, Apocalypse tells us that part of our destiny is to "see God's face" (Apocalypse 22:4). It is , therefore, easy to assume with some certainty that these Scriptures emphasize the importance and the significance of interacting cara a cara - that is something to be desired and engaged in - that it matters.

Regardless of whether we are avid users of online social networking, or have nothing or little to do with it at all, we should never lose the art of effectively communicating cara a cara. Not only is important, but also critical that we maintain a healthy desire for cara a cara interaction, and the ability to effectively and confidently communicate face-to-face, rather than relying largely on electronic means.

There is so much to be gained by not only hearing another person's voice, but by seeing their expression and body language, looking into their eyes. and being present with them in close proximity.

Our communication and our relationships are enriched when we utilize all the tools our Creator gave us to connect effectively with each other.

Consulting material :

Bob Radzaj, "face-to-face", Tomorrow's World magazine July-August 2016

SURE - National Library, Aug 31, 2016

NIV Bible - Life application Study Bible, Zondervaan